


Pretend

by matbaerzal



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23841814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matbaerzal/pseuds/matbaerzal
Summary: Mat keeps pretending to be your boyfriend even when you don’t ask him to. (Friends to lovers, 3+1)
Relationships: Mathew Barzal/Reader
Kudos: 15





	Pretend

I  
The very first time Mat pretended to be your boyfriend was when you were 16, you both wanted to make the people you actually liked jealous. You had a stupid crush on Chad and Mat had a crush on Stephanie. It had been Mat’s idea in the first place, insisting it was a great plan. You look back at the failed attempt now and laugh, it was ridiculous and didn’t work at all. You had even staged a kiss for them to see. You were at the beach with a group of friends, and Mat’s arm around you hadn’t caused a reaction out of anyone.

“Hey, I think we’ve gotta kiss” he whispered in your ear, you’d nearly gotten whiplash with how quick you looked up at him, “what? Why?” you whispered back, eyes wide in shock. “Let’s be honest, me having my arm around you isn’t really uncommon, so we gotta kiss. You know, to really sell it” he reasons. “Chad will get so jealous, I swear,” he adds.

You looked over at Chad, who coincidentally was looking at you already. You remember thinking fuck it, before kissing Mat without warning. He was surprised at first, despite it being his idea, but once he got over the shock his hand found your cheek, returning the kiss. You also remember being surprised at how good of a kisser he was, getting lost in the feel of his lips for a moment.

You only broke the kiss when someone jumped from the pier into the water next to you, splashing you both in the process. You didn’t even bother to check if Chad was still looking, too caught up in your own head. Too caught up in the fact that you were blushing, and that you didn’t want Mat to see. You didn’t know why you were blushing and you didn’t even want to think about it, so you turned around and jumped into the water to remove yourself from the situation. Mat had laughed in surprise and jumped in after you, no questions asked.

A bit later that day, Chad told you that he’d been wondering when you and Mat would finally become a couple. Stephanie told the two of you that you made a really cute couple. Which is when you told Mat that you’d failed, and you should stop pretending. Mat had protested at first swearing that you just needed more time, that the plan was working. Chad and Stephanie were just saying what they said to be nice, they were actually jealous.

But eventually he gave in and the two of you went back to normal, telling your friends that you had just been trying something out. That you just wanted to see if you could be more, but in the end you’d decided to just stay friends. He seemed to be fine, but you couldn’t stop blushing when you saw him, for several weeks after the kiss. You tried your best to avoid him at first, not able to get that kiss out of your mind. Eventually he pulled you in again, eventually you buried your new-found feelings for him.

II  
Years later you find yourself pretending again, though the reasons were completely different. You moved to New York a year or so after Mat, having gotten a job there, which admittedly you’d only applied for for the chance to be closer to him. You were out celebrating your new job at a bar with Mat and a few of his teammates and friends. You hadn’t kept track of how many times you’d found yourself in a similar situation to the one you were currently in.

The guy who’d come up to you at the bar seemed harmless at first, but as you made your disinterest more clear, he only took it as a challenge. Mat had been keeping an eye on you from the booth he was sat at and had considered going up to you the second the guy started talking to you. He’d decided against it though, knowing you were fully capable of taking care of yourself, but this guy really wasn’t budging. So Mat finds his way over, hugs you from behind and gives the guy a death stare.

You instantly relax into him, not needing to check behind you to see who it is. The feel of his arms around you and his scent all too familiar. “There you are, been looking for you” he says, swiftly kissing you on the cheek for good measure. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend” the guy scoffs, “No, but I did tell you I wasn’t interested” you bite back. “Whatever” he says, walking away.

You turn your head to look up at Mat, who’s still got his arms wrapped around you, “thanks” you smile up at him. He hums and lets you go, only to stand beside you and put his arm around your shoulder. “you alright?” he says. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve had worse” you roll your eyes, thinking back to the guy, wrapping your hand around Mats’ side. Finally the bartender turns to you and you get to order the drink you came to the bar for in the first place. Mat stays by your side for the rest of the night.

III  
With your conflicting schedules you didn’t get to see each other all too often, but you made sure to make plans whenever you could. Often that meant grabbing lunch together at a cafe close to your work, after his morning skate, if he had one. You found out at the first lunch you had, that you needed to set an alarm for when you needed to get back to work. Though Mat was no help, groaning and protesting every time you heard the alarm.

Today your lunch fell on a sunday, you were off work, and Mat even had a couple days off. You’d already eaten and were on your third cup when Mat shot his head up looking at whoever just entered the café. He swears under his breath, the panic in his eyes clear. You turn in your seat to look at what’s caused his reaction. You barely get a glance at the vaguely familiar woman before Mat grabs your shoulder, turning you back around “shit, don’t look” he whispers. You quietly laugh at his behavior “who is she?” you ask. He hushes you, “it’s Amber” he answers, still whispering.

How could you forget Amber? You think. They’d dated for a while, a bit on and off, he’d even brought her home to Vancouver last summer. The two of you never hit it off, she always looked like she was suspicious of you. Always seemed to touch Mat possessively when you were around. Always got loud and passive-aggressive towards you when she’d had too many drinks.

Mat looks like he could disappear under the table at any moment before an idea takes over his features. “I’m not sure I like that look, Barzy” you tell him as he smirks. “Please, I do it for you like all the time” he begs. Somehow, Amber still hasn’t seen the two of you, she’s waiting for the coffee she’d ordered. “That’s different, and you know it” you argue, but he’s suddenly urging you to sit next to him, throwing his arm around your shoulder as Amber walks your way. She does a double take before stopping by your table “oh-my-god, hi” she exclaims, her politeness so fake you could feel it in your bones.

“Hey, Amber, it’s been a while, eh?” Mat says. You just smile at her, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit, ultimately deciding on leaning into Mat more. His arm squeezes your shoulder as Amber takes in the scene, “are the two of you like, together now?” she says. Mat barely even gets to confirm before she cuts him off “that’s just great, I always knew that would happen, if I’m being honest” her smile is as fake as ever as she says her goodbye and walks out the door.

You’re left confused by her comment, and you push Mat’s arm off your shoulder and move back to your seat. You sit there in an awkward silence before Mat finally speaks up, “sorry about that,” he’s looking down at his cup so you can’t read his expression. “What are you apologizing for, exactly?” you ask, “I don’t know, I just didn’t want her to try to latch on again, I know it’s not the same as when I do that for you” he says and finally looks up at you. “I should have just been honest with her, but I kind of panicked a bit,” he laughs.

“It’s ok, it’s no big deal” you say, trying to swallow the feeling in your chest. The feeling that reappears sometimes, the one you first felt when he kissed you when you were 16. You didn’t have a sea to jump into this time though. Amber’s comment had thrown you off, people never had any trouble believing you were a couple whenever you pretended, and you and Mat never had a problem putting up the act - though it always seemed really easy for Mat to drop the act too.

IV  
Mat had invited you to come with him to a charity event the Islanders were hosting. You couldn’t let him down, so you would have to just power through and bury your feelings, again. Hopefully Mat would be busy most of the night and you didn’t have to pretend that you didn’t feel butterflies in your stomach whenever he touched you. It had been a while since last time your crush resurfaced and you were trying to remember how you ever managed to bury it the previous times. Right now the task seemed hopeless, and the suit he was wearing was not helping your case at all.

As you had hoped, Mat was pulled away almost instantly, he gave you an apologetic smile. You tried to not look relieved as he left, heading to the bar to get yourself a drink before finding your table. Grace and Lauren were already sitting there when you finally found it. “Hey, haven’t seen you in awhile” Grace smiles, both of them get up to give you a hug as you greet them back.

The three of you catch up with each other, you rarely ever see them but they’d been very welcoming to you the first time you attended a game. When you first moved to Long Island Grace invited you and Mat over for dinner, together with some other teammates and significant others. She made sure to tell you that you could come to her if you ever needed a friend.

“I’m so glad Barzy brought you tonight, it’s lovely seeing you two together” Lauren says, “yeah, the two of you are so cute” Grace adds. “Oh, we’re still just friends” you blush, going to take another sip of your drink only to find it empty. “I’m gonna go get another” you tell them, holding up your glass, ignoring the knowing looks they’re giving you as you get up.

There’s only one other guy at the bar when you get there, he looks about your age, he’s not too bad to look at either. He smiles at you when he sees you approach the bar, he’s already gotten his drink so the bartender gives you her attention instantly. You order your usual, and “What brings you here?” the guy next to you says, and you can’t help but cringe at the cliché line. But you entertain his question nonetheless. Despite the awkward start, he actually seems nice, and you find yourself enjoying the conversation. You even stay behind at the bar when you get your drink. He made you laugh, he got your mind off of Mat for a couple seconds, he wasn’t making you uncomfortable at all.

Which is why you were surprised when Mat wrapped his arms around you from behind. Like he does when guys at bars are being assholes. But this guy was being nice, and there was no reason for Mat to get him to leave. And it leaves you confused, and angry, he has no right to do what he just did. But the guy leaves as Mat kisses your cheek, his hands possessively wrapped around you. You could only imagine the look Mat had given the poor guy. Mat lets you go, and tries to put his arm around your shoulder but you shy away. “What was that?” you say, trying to stay calm even though you can feel your anger growing.

“What do you mean? Was he not bothering you?” Mat tries to act clueless and it only angers you more. “Did it look like he was?” you burst, “I was actually having a decent conversation, what gives you the right to just come up and do that?” you continue. Mat is at a loss for words, he looks embarrassed, “I’m sor- I really thought he was bothering you” he insists. “That’s bullshit, Mat” you call him out. “I’m just going to go” you say, leaving him at the bar, ignoring him when he calls after you.

-

You’d barely managed to change into something more comfortable when there’s a frantic knock on your door. You throw on a t-shirt and go to open the door. Mat stands there with his hand raised, like he was just about to knock again. He’s still in his suit, but with a couple of buttons on his shirt undone, and his hair tousled from running his hands through it too much. He lets out a sigh when he sees you, “can I come in?” he asks. You open the door wider for him, realizing now that walking out might not have been the most mature decision. He must have left soon after you did, and you’re still angry, but you owe him a chance to explain his behaviour. He walks a couple of steps into your apartment, and you shut the door behind him, leaning on it once it’s closed.

“Are you going to tell me what happened at the bar?” you say after a moment of silence. He looks guilty, running his hands through his hair again. “I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I wasn’t thinking, and that’s no excuse, but we’ve pretended so many times now and I don’t want to do that anymore” he says. You’re confused, it was him that started the whole pretending thing, and it was him that kept doing it, “if you don’t want to, then why don’t you just stop?” you say. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I don’t want it to be pretend any more. I didn’t even want it to be pretend the first time when we were 16” he says. No less confused than you were before, “what do you mean?” you ask him.

“I didn’t even like Stephanie, I just wanted an excuse to kiss you. And when you actually kissed me, it’s like my whole body set on fire. I could have stayed like that forever.” he confesses. “But then you avoided me for the next week, so I settled for being just friends. When I saw you at the bar with that guy, I’ll admit I got jealous, and I shouldn’t have done that. I was selfish, and you’re right. I didn’t have the right to do that, but fuck - I want to be able to call you mine, and for you to call me yours” he’s searching your face for your reaction. But you’re still processing, overthinking, stuck leaning against your door still.

“I love you” he says, and that’s when you finally snap out of it. He’s got a worried look on his face, worried that you don’t feel the same, worried that this is the end of your friendship. You let out a short breathy laugh, thinking about how you’ve both liked each other since you were 16. That neither of you have done anything about it, that this whole time you could have had the real thing, but instead you’ve been pretending. It’s his turn to be confused, not understanding what could be so funny.

“I love you too” you confess, his whole face lights up at your confession, taking steps towards you as you continue speaking. “I’ve loved you since the first time I kissed you when we were 16. But I thought you liked Stephanie, so I avoided you, to get over my feelings for you” you continue.

His hand carefully lifts to find your cheek, and you go to move even closer to him, but he softly pins you to the door. His other hand finds your waist as he leans his forehead against yours. “I love you” he murmurs, your lips almost touching as you close your eyes, your hand finds his suit jacket as you pull him in the rest of the way. You do everything you can to get as close as possible as your lips move together. His hands find your thighs and he lifts you up and pins you to the door again as your legs wrap around his waist. Your hands find their way into his hair as you make up for the time lost pretending. “I love you” you whisper when you break apart to catch your breaths.

He smiles and grips you tighter as he moves the two of you to your couch. He sits down so you’re straddling him, you run your fingers through his hair as you lean in to kiss him again with a smile. He wraps his arms around your waist, urging you closer, you tug on his hair as his tongue slides across your bottom lip. Nothing has ever felt as natural and right as your tongues tangle together. You accidentally grind against him, caught up in the moment, and you let out a soft moan into his mouth.

“Do you want to slow down?” Mat asks breathlessly, you take a moment to think about his question. You know the two of you need to actually talk, but right now you want him, and you can tell he wants you too. You have all the time in the world to talk later. You shake your head, “I don’t want to stop” you breathe back, and kiss him again. “Do you?” you ask and he immediately shakes his head in a no.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous” he says in between kisses. His hands find your hips guiding you so you’re sat on one of his thighs. “Use my thigh, yeah?” he sighs against your mouth as his hands move under the t-shirt you’re wearing to touch the skin of your waist. You nod, moaning as you start moving against him. Even through your layers, the friction gives you some relief and it feels so good. Mat moves one hand to your thigh encouraging your movement, your head falls on his shoulder at the feeling.

The hand on your waist moves to your neck, lightly gripping your hair to lift your head from his shoulder. He kisses you hungrily, “Mat, bedroom” you mutter against his lips. Your movements still and you open your eyes to find Mat looking at you in awe. He brushes your hair behind your ear before he grips both your thighs and stands up. Your legs now around his waist again as he carries you to your bedroom.

He gently throws you on the bed. You scoot up the bed and just as your head hits the pillows, he finds his way over to you, sliding his hands up your legs, stopping at the waistline of your sweatpants looking up at you waiting for reassurance. You give him an impatient nod and he brings his hands down your legs again, taking your sweatpants with him. You lift yourself up a bit to make it easier for him. Whilst he turns to throw your pants on the floor behind him you remove your t-shirt, throwing it in the same direction as the dress. He turns back, stopping when he sees you laid there in your underwear.

His eyes filled with lust seeing you like that, his hands shyly caressing the underside or your breasts, “can I-?” he says looking up at you, “please,” you breathe. His hands more confident now as his fingers move to your back to unclasp your bra, he curses under his breath when he sees you more exposed than he ever has before. “You’re beautiful, fuck- I’m so lucky” he says as his fingers find your nipples, he leans down kissing down your neck slowly making his way down your body, teasing you. When he finally replaces his fingers with his mouth on your nipples you breathe out another moan. Pressing your thighs together desperate for more friction. You’re practically squirming on your bed when he moves further down your body.

Finally he slowly takes your panties off, kissing your thighs now. “Tell me what you want,” he murmurs against your thigh, between kisses. You struggle to find your words, he’s so close to where you want him, so close to having him like you’ve only imagined before. He stops his movements entirely and looks up at you waiting for your answer. You take a deep stuttering breath “I need- fuck“ you say as he kisses you dangerously close to where you need him. He looks up at you again and he hums expectantly. “Your tongue, I need your tongue” you breathe out.

His left hand moves your thigh over his shoulder, slowly moving it back up he takes your hand that was previously gripping the sheets. You can’t help but moan when he tastes you for the first time. His other hand slides over your stomach in an effort to still your movements against him. You squeeze his hand, but the one that’s left free you have no idea what to do with. The feeling of his tongue against you making your movements frantic. You go from gripping the sheets, to pulling your own hair, gripping your breast as he continues flicking his tongue over your clit.

Mat is looking up at you mesmerized and seems to notice your struggle. His arm leaves your stomach to place your free hand in his hair, “pull my hair” he moans against you. While he focuses his tongue on your clit his fingers find their way to your folds spreading your wetness around. A long finger pushes in slowly and you hum in appreciation. It slips out again, and then he’s pushing two in, your eyes clenching shut at the stretch.

The pleasure his fingers are giving you makes you pull his hair harder than you intended. You think to apologize, but then he moans around your clit. You look down at him, and he’s completely focused on making you feel good. He’s taking mental notes of your every breath, moan and tug of his hair. His fingers speed up just a little and his tongue moves more determined against you. And when he sees you throw your head back on the pillow, your breath quickening, he knows that you’re close.

Your first orgasm hits you like a wave, running through your whole body. Your eyes shut and mouth open with a breathy moan. Your whole body tingles as he slows the movement of his fingers, his tongue moving against you softly until you pull his hair when it’s too much. He comes up from between your legs, kissing his way up as he removes his fingers from you - moaning as he licks his fingers clean of your juices. Brushing your hair behind your ear, “you did so good, baby” he mutters. You blush at the new term and praise as he leans in to kiss you deeply.

He’s still fully clothed and you feel deprived, you’ve seen him shirtless before and you always had trouble keeping your eyes away from him. You push at his suit jacket and he takes the hint, breaking the kiss to remove it. You sit up to help him with the buttons on his shirt, you’re slow in your movements, knowing that you don’t have to distract yourself this time around - you can take your time admiring him. When all the buttons are undone you push the material off of his shoulders and lean in to kiss his chest as he removes the shirt the rest of the way.

Your hands move to his belt, but he moves off the bed and quickly removes the rest of his clothing. You laugh at his eagerness, “I don’t think I can handle you teasing me right now” he blushes. “Night stand, top drawer” you say as you bite your lip, feeling impatient yourself. He grabs a condom before getting back on the bed. He gets back between your legs, rips the package open and rolls the condom on. He rests one hand by the side of your head and leans down to kiss your forehead. “I love you” he says before giving you a quick kiss on the lips, “I love you” you say, brushing your nose against his.

He takes a hold of himself and runs the tip over your slit, watches as your mouth falls open at the pleasure. You let out a gasp as he finally slides in, he’s biting his lip - his forehead falls against yours. He pauses for a moment, letting you adjust, only starting to move against you when you give his bicep a reassuring squeeze. You grind desperately against him, the feeling of him inside you better than you ever imagined. You hook your leg around his waist, and he uses his hand to keep your leg there as he speeds up his pace, getting deeper than before. 

Your hand treads through his hair once again as you pull him down to kiss you. As he hits that spot inside of you you moan against his lip, giving his hair a tug - he groans at the feeling. He breaks away from the kiss, your fingers leave his hair, and he starts to use the hand that was next to your head to rub circles on your clit. You moan out his name, feeling yourself get closer and closer. He takes you in, admires the blush of your body, the arching of your back, the way you’re looking at him. He wants to be the one who makes you feel like this for the rest of his life.

Another wave of pleasure takes over your body, your back arches and your mouth opens in a silent scream. Unlike the first time he keeps going at the same pace, chasing after his own orgasm. His movements are a bit erratic and it’s almost too much, but he stills as he comes with a groan, closing his eyes at the feeling. You take him in, the furrowing of his brows, the blush of his chest, the way he looks at you when he finally opens his eyes again. You want to make him feel like that for the rest of your life.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, your whole body tingles as you do. He bends down and gives you a soft kiss before resting his head in the crook of your neck. You stay like that for a moment with him absentmindedly kissing your skin. Your hand goes up to brush through his hair as you’re still catching your breath. Another moment passes before he props himself up again, he dips down to kiss you again as he pulls out slowly.

He slowly gets up after a moment, taking you with him. You’re almost too tired to move, but he drags you to the bathroom so you two can get ready for bed. You get back into bed and under the covers as quickly as possible. Laying on your sides, face to face, smiles permanently plastered on your faces. “I’m one hundred percent yours, you know that right?” he murmurs, his fingers absentmindedly drawing patterns on your arm. You hum as you nod, “I’m yours too” you say as you move yourself closer to him, cuddling into his chest. You lay like that, pressed together until you eventually drift into sleep, tangled up in each other.


End file.
